Please Curse Me With Complexity

The world is a complicated place. Now, I know with that one line, those six words, I lost some of my audience. There is an extremely good possibility that you, dear reader, are thinking something like: “You’re born, you live, you die. What’s so complicated?� or “The world is simple; ‘survival of the fittest.’� Or you may have another one of dozens of hackneyed clichés that attempt to simplify this beautiful blue rock. True, many of the rules that govern the physical and behavioral aspects of the world are relatively simple. The food chain, the law of conservation of energy, inertia: all these concepts are basically simple examples of the cosmic constitution that keeps the animals moving and the planet spinning. And they are not that difficult to understand. Take inertia for instance: objects in motion tend to stay in motion unless affected by an outside source; objects at rest tend to stay at rest unless affected by an outside force. Fairly simplistic, happens to work.

I’m not talking about that world. I’m not talking about the part of the planet where each creature has its own designated purpose bestowed upon them at birth. I’m not talking about a place where each piece must go to a certain place in the puzzle without any say-so in the matter. I’m talking about our world, man’s world. The world formerly described is inhabited by every other living organism God saw fit to create. That world is simple; each creature is born knowing its path and purpose in life. The gazelle knows that each day it must find a way to eat grass and drink water without being slaughtered by a lioness lurking in the brush. The lioness knows that each day she must find a way to stay up wind from the gazelle and be stealth during approach, or she and her family will starve.

Every other living creature on this planet lives in that world except us. Humans, for what ever reason, decided to introduce a new concept to the world: choice. We should have followed the other animals’ example. But alas, we wanted choice. And I’m not talking about little choices; other creatures have little choices. Back to the gazelle and the lioness; they have choices. The gazelle gets to pick where and when it will graze, and the lioness gets to choose which morsel to snag out of the pack. Our ancestors refused to be complacent with such miniscule, insignificant choices. They wanted the opportunity to not only choose their place in the world, but also to choose the world in which they live. The builders of the first civilizations, the founders of the first civil laws, the pioneers of the “well-rounded� student method for teaching, all these people helped form our world as it orbits today. They planted those first ideological seeds and ended up proving that choice is not a manageable and harvestable crop; it is a weed that infects every nook and cranny in our life. And it spawns others like it: analysis, curiosity, and an ingrained need to find the meaning of existence. The majority of the population will readily sacrifice the simplicity of knowing whether one needs to watch the horizon for predators or find a way around the prey’s defenses for the opportunity to choose which role in life s/he wants to accept and pursue.

Actually, that doesn’t sound that bad or even horribly illogical. Personally, I’d want to have the chance to pick what my life’s work was going to be, either eating grass or eating Bambi’s foreign cousin (I’m done with the gazelle/lioness metaphor. I’ve played it for all it’s worth, probably a bit more. Apologies.). Sacrificing the security of a preordained existence when the choices are, though important, few in number is not a horrible bet. Limited choices mean more time to gather information about the available options, so one can make an educated decision. It also means that there is less chance of choosing a path not suited to ones talents, abilities, and preferences. Unfortunately, the people of today are never satisfied with the number of choices and opportunities available, at least in this country. The American creed: the more options the better. The unfortunate catch-22 is that the desire to educate oneself about each available option, fully analyze the situation, and make a decision based upon a well thought out list of pros and cons based off of numerous personal characterizes decreases with each generation. Even more unfortunate is society continues to satisfy people’s insatiable need for choice by making various products and social aspects easier to access by a larger part of the population, a part of the population that, in many cases, have never been presented with these choices, yet they offer little to no guidance on how to make the right, or at the very least, an intelligent, choice.

There is a proverb which states, “In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.� Wrong. Not in today’s world. Now, in the land of the sighted, the blind man is king. And if the blind man is king, the man that has a gift for sight, an intuitive or talented eye, will become the world’s jester if s/he does not stay steadfast to the chosen path and/or continually burdens his/her soul with the devilish incantation “what if . . .� Seems counterintuitive that the metaphorical blind man holds power over the sighted. Ironically, in the world of man, a world torn away from the simplicity of the animal kingdom, a world made chaotic and complex from the various options and choices laid out in front of a largely slothful and uneducated population, (meaning real world education, not academic), the simple man, not the complex man, is better apt at thriving while constructing a life tailor-made to fit his/her every basic desire.

There is little room for Jacks of All Trade or Renaissance Men now. Feeling a pull toward learning for learning’s sake and knowing a dash about countless areas is great for cocktail parties and Trivial Pursuit, but it is a lousy source of revenue and guidance; mostly though, the latter is the serious issue, the issue that spawns other mini-issues like Mormon rabbits. As societies grew, distanced themselves from nature, and became obsessed with having more of any and all tradable, (not necessary tangible), goods, finding one’s path to success became more and more difficult. Tack on the fact that higher education is now as common as high school diplomas were in the not so distance past, and things look rather shitty. This is usually the time when the taste of cynicism and bitterness fills your mouth as you realize that more is not always better. Yes, they lied to us all.

Societies in the past had less choices and more guidance. For example, if one was born in a relatively small town in the Middle Ages to a blacksmith and a wet nurse, chances are that person will have one of several jobs in the same class as their parents, get married, have a couple kids, die. Back in those good old bad days, there was little chance for social climb; one pretty much knew their path from birth. For example, a blacksmith’s son could expand the store when he took over the business, but the house-bet is that the highest rung he could reach in the social hierarchy is highly successful blacksmith shop owner. If that little tike was born now, his father’s job would have some affect on his future, but it would not be a life sentence.

Career choices, family choices, and all those other seriously life altering choices are pretty much left up to availability and personal preference. Though a person can ask for advice or take those nifty little quizzes in Cosmo, ultimately, the person making the choice has absolute power, and that’s scary. That’s especially scary for the modern day Renaissance Man. No, scary is not the word: terrifying; that’s better. See, simple people have an advantage over those with more complexities: they have less personal preferences to stress over, and from my observations, they are much less introspective. Also from past experience, I’ve noticed that simple people are typically much more satisfied with their choices than others. I know – “Thank you Captain Obvious.�

Simple does not necessarily mean stupid. I’d categorize the majority of successful businessmen as simple. They have simple, definable personal preferences and goals that drive them to find a mean to their desired ends. The best also have a passion for business that overshadows their love for everything else, (read the wife’s gripe page in the Fortune 500 if you are skeptical, my friend). So, easily defined motivations, easily defined goals, and a mean, or means, which not only provide access to attain his/her goals but also fulfills whatever personality trait that draws him/her to the business lifestyle. Who says being a stereotype doesn’t have its perks.

Now, simple can mean dim witted, but people who are simple and have below average smarts are much luckier then dumb people cursed with complexity. I know a wrestler that went to a community college, barely graduated, got a job as a P.E. teacher, coaches wrestling, got married, had a couple kids, and lives a modest lifestyle in a three bedroom on the outskirts of town. That guy is one of the happiest people I know. He knows he’s not the brightest crayon in the box, but he loves wrestling and his family and he can pay his bills on time; that’s his version of paradise. Oh the salvation of simplicity! Blessed are those whose few personal preferences and/or talents grant stability and guidance.

Conversely: the idiot aware enough to see everything the world has to offer whose lack of intellect severely limits his/her options, and scholar aware enough to see everything the world has to offer whose overabundance of intellect severely limits his/her restrictions. Both types of ill-fated souls are forever sentenced to, at best, suffer immensely to gain the world’s fruit or, at worst, continually fail and achieve nothing because of their complex and introspective nature. Success or failure doesn’t really matter, though; these people are never completely happy, never truly satisfied because the next best thing always dangles just out of reach. Woe the damnation of complexity! Cursed are those whose numerous personal preferences and/or talents grant insecurity and misdirection.

God, in all his hilarity, bestowed my best friend and I with lots and lots of smarts and wants, yay. Totally acknowledgement that this will sound homoerotic, I must say that Justin is an exquisite creature. Physically: he is lean and muscular, with short, dark hair and brown eyes. Emotionally: J is one of the most sensitive guys, hell, people, I’ve ever met in my life. He’s not afraid to wear that proverbial heart on his sleeve; even if he was having a shy day, I’m positive the heart would pop out whether he wanted it to or not. He’s been through a significant amount of shit when he was growing up that definitely gave him a complex or two or three. But I am proud to say that he is working on those little personal inequities. Working on personal issues like that is one of the most mentally grueling activities people can do, and he’s right on top of things.

J’s intellect and intuitiveness are his strengths. He’s not just a well seeing man in the world of the sighted; this poor fool has X-Ray specs. He can look at a common, everyday occurrence and pull out the meaning of life. I’ve seen him take a pile of laundry and turn it into a badass mortal combat costume for some kid. The damn kid even won his school’s costume contest. The guy can also stare right into people’s “energy� and, on a fairly regular basis, touch or talk to some one for only a few minutes before he starts rattling off personal information he has no business knowing. It’s entertaining to see people’s reaction when J and they meet. He can also read emotions like a mood ring, wait, bad example; they never work right, but you get the point. Now that he’s gotten passed the “talk to the dog for three hours while lying on the couch� phase, he’s put a crazy amount of energy into self improvement. Again, I’m proud to say that he is doing quite well. I could sit here and ramble on and on about J’s talents, but that would take forever and get rather tedious. He does have a few standouts though that must be mentioned: He is extremely intuitive, well spoken, athletic, charismatic (when he wants to be), organized, loyal, and . . .wow, can the boy cook.

Unfortunately, J’s intellect and intuitiveness are his downfalls. This may make no sense, but bear with me. Justin could succeed at pretty much anything he decides to put his effort toward. From painting to teaching to stay-at-home “mom,� I have no doubt in my mind that he would excel at anything and everything he dedicated himself toward, and that’s why he’s come up short in the past. Back to the “blind man-seeing man� analogy, (I beat things to death, happens): Justin is extremely observant and knows a little bit about various topics. Now because of this, he can become distracted easily; he sees too much; blindness, metaphorically speaking, would be a Godsend. He can’t stay focused on any one thing. Every path, every opportunity, every “what if� waves frantically, and he cannot ignore their beckoning. Sometimes he chaotically chases them all; sometimes he statuesquely stares at each. Either way, nothing much gets accomplished.

How to choose? Sounds like he will have to try them all. That sounds logical, but it doesn’t really work. Trust me, I gave it a run. For me, I couldn’t focus at the task at hand; I was too concerned with evaluating past experiments and planning my future ones to put the required effort on the present. By experiment I mean social experiment, as in “I have a great idea! I’ll move down to a little bitty town and take a job that doesn’t pay enough, so I can find myself.� All that alone time; that’s when I started practicing to keep my mind in the present. I highly recommend it.

Oh, poor J, there’s more. Say Justin does take a job doing something he enjoys. How do you now you made the right decision? And that’s a rather minute issue. Second guessing a summer job is one thing, second guessing a wife, kids, etc., that’s another. That was always one of my biggest fears, which I was going to have something great and screw it up. I wish I could say I didn’t have to royally screw up to learn, and though I can honestly say it was hell, it was worth it. I say that because I got lottery lucky meeting Audra, who is an awesome girl, after fucking up so bad with Erin, also an awesome girl. Justin has that advantage over me of where he does much better with emotional expression. I have learned quite a bit from him in the last few months about opening up. And I’m actually using the knowledge.

I could see J’s problem being too many girls. On a cruise, back in Vegas, he’s going to be covered. I’m a guy; I know how much guys want to nail that hottie and hang up some pictures to show your pals, but you can’t do it. Don’t let a girl that you seem infatuated with for five minutes ruin a strong, five year relationship. J and I have a lot of sexual experiences under our belts. For me, I’m finally feeling like I have done enough and can settle down in one piece without constantly feeling like my girl is holding me back from life. J, play all you want until you’re ready, but once that feeling hits, fight for it for all your worth. If you have a good thing, make sure she knows.

The fact that history repeats itself is definitely true in regards to human behavior. If nothing else, one can see patterns in the way certain types of people behave. Some of the most tortured souls this planet has ever sired have been those who are intelligent and can look beyond what is in plain view. How can one ask a man that sees it all to look straight ahead? How can someone close their eyes to the world, especially if s/he can truly see? The answers: you can’t; they can’t. A blessing is just a curse put to good use. The way Justin sees the world could change the way other people see it forever. But in order to accomplish and stay relatively sane, J is going to have to learn to use the gifts of sight and thought, look at the world and analyze it, but not let new thoughts detract from his current commitment.

Most importantly, if I know of anyone who deservers the nod, Justin deserves to be happy. He should know that he has no expectations to exceed other than his own. If he, or anyone, is lucky enough to find something and/or someone that makes him happy, all detractors can line up here to blow me if they have a problem. Don’t worry about wasting talent. I hate to say it, but no one is that important in the grand scheme of the universe, staying home to raise your kid rather than develop cold fusion, which would be nice, will not cause the universe to fold in on itself, but you are that important to those around you and to those who care about you. And those friends, those true friends, care not what you do to make your rent. I would be as proud of J if he sold cars or if he owned a chain of kick boxing studios.

My advice, take it or leave it, as always, whatever you do, do it well. People can’t change who they are at their core, and someone like J shouldn’t want to lose what makes him . . . him. Sure, being simple minded and living life with blinders on is easier than what J and I do. I can’t speak for him, but I think we face similar struggles. We have a constant internal battle between what we have chosen and the road not taken. We want to learn as much as we can in life. That may mean doing many hands-on projects and dabbling at a vocation or two or three. That may mean we never truly master one thing, which is fine until the need for a career rears its head.

Again, I can’t answer for J, but as for me, I have accepted the fact that I will always love trying new things and analyzing life in general, but I have made a conscience decision not to let any of my admirations deter me from doing what truly needs to be done. I hope the same for J. For us, there is no shepherd guiding us through the Valley of Darkness. Even if there was, we could pay attention long enough to follow. Justin will never have a calling; he will have to choose what to hear and what to ignore. Glory, mediocrity, fortune, poverty, fame, obscurity: I couldn’t say. I, like most, give him advice. He, like I, doesn’t listen to advice. I, like him, only learn from experience. He, like I, only have ourselves to blame. I, maybe him, wouldn’t have it any other way.